next »

[Valere]

So, yes... As the title would indicates I'm fairly nervous about making this intro and the response I'll receive...

But greetings anyways KitsuHana! I guess I'll put why I decided to make an account on the site first, then talk a little about myself and my personal story. I made an account here because I have no one I can really talk about being an otherkin with and that makes me one lonely fox. I'm looking for others who went through a similar experiences (of being otherkin) to hear about and companionship. I also want to learn from this community and grow into myself more.

My name's Valere. It is not my legal name, but a truer name for me I recently arrived at a few months ago. I have my own firm personal belief that I am otherkin. Growing up I always knew that I wasn't quite human. A fact I tried very hard to ignore and push out of my mind whenever it popped up. I'm not saying I felt like I was "special", different yes in thinking and desires. While some others might seek to label themselves as otherkin to be special or different from everyone else, it's the opposite case for me. I always tried my best to be "normal" and fit in with everyone. I often felt desperate in my attempt to become like an average person. This extends from me identifying as non-human to my sexual orientation and sexual desires. I always tried to model my behavior after the masses because I wanted to belong. I knew that identifying as anything but the socially accepted defaults would lead me down a lonely path. Some things have been easier to accept in myself than others, such as my religious and my feelings of being non-human. I just really couldn't ignore them as they were so overwhelming inside of me. In case anyone was curious about what particular my religious beliefs are since I mentioned it, I'm pagan. I use to say Wicca in particular, but I was just using that as a label to say modern witchcraft really (The majority of ancient practices have been lost and have only been recreated and I'd also use the term Wicca so people know I didn't sacrifice living things). I'm a solitary practitioner and currently my beliefs on Wicca are slowly changing a bit to my own, ie my thoughts on karma, death, etc.

I use to think about what I could possibly be if I was not human, casually as not to make myself feel insane. I thought about various possibilities I could be, but never made the conscious realization of vulpine until recently. I could admire a tiger, various other big cats, hawks, or wolf for their traits, but I knew it wasn't me. The connection wasn't there for them. They weren't me. I tried going through many animals and thinking about them and if they fit or were me or not very nonchalant. Back then a large part of me wanted to still ignore who I was in favor of finding a place to belong, even if it wasn't the fit for me. I wanted to find people who'd me affection and pay me some mind and I thought people only would do that for people who fit in and were them like them.

I should note that wasn't a mindless conformist or anything, but would try to tone myself down and prevent myself from being and speaking as I wanted. I also should note that I must've failed a bit in my attempts, or that even if I tried perhaps my peers could sense me being off as I only managed to make friends with the geeks (which I'm apart of, something I only accepted at 17. My reasoning behind that I couldn't be a geek? Because I didn't know any computer languages. Heh, I figured out my orientation before then that even x.x") outcasts and basically anyone who wasn't stereotypical kid.

Yeah, so I have a tendency to stubbornly ignore the obvious and have a few problems accepting myself until I'm forced to admit otherwise, something which I'm working on. The way I see it, at the very least I should be able to accept myself even if most of the world would prefer not to.

Reasons why I'm a fox? Well, obviously I can offer any hard proof. If I could I'm sure I'd be a lot richer now! I can offer up own sincere connection to the identify, but for many that probably isn't enough. I'm not quite sure what would qualify to lend credence to my beliefs. I suppose there's why I identify with kitsune and how I match their personality traits... Well, I'm doubt my mischievous and playful nature was expressed very well if at all in this post as I'm pretty much talking seriously from the heart here, offering my story up, but normally I'm very impish person whose always looking for trouble/fun (they can be used interchangeably imho) although I'm pretty lazy with mandatory things. I have a serve case of K.D.D (Kitsune Deficit Disorder... joke reference here, google the term if you don't get it, but I'm pretty serious about having it) which was mistakenly diagnosed by human doctors as A.D.D. I know they're somewhat similar, but still. The fox (note: I tend to use fox and kitsune interchangeably, yes I know there's a bit of a difference) represents survival and adaptability which is something that's pretty much a main feature of me.

This isn't exactly proof, but I'm going to mention it anyways! I kind of feel a bit more validated because twice before two different people "read" me (spiritually) they saw a fox. The first women who was perhaps three years ago wouldn't have known kitsune in particular to mention that. It was her profession to read people (which doesn't guarantee skill or accuracy obviously). The second was a male who became a friend. On the first night of knowing me upon sharing that we were both pagan and mentioning his reading abilities, he read that among some other things about me correctly. This isn't the end all be all for proof. It's not just because someone else says it that I believe it, it's just I feel happy that other people in the occult read that off of me.

It is only of this month that I found myself. The last past year I had a 'character' that I gave a bunch of traits to and thought of and mentally pondered. I became to realize as of late that it wasn't a character, but myself in fact! I believe I took this approach in regards to myself because like I've mentioned I wouldn't allow myself to explore it directly. Let me say this, when I say 'character' I mean like the writing sort. Not a "fursona" or whatever, I don't do RPs. I tend to think of and flesh out a character and write about them, in the third person. I don't see myself as any characters I write about nor do I feel a connection to them. They are themselves and I am me. I don't mix that. With this particular character I could always think about them and ponder, but never write them out. Obviously this could be for a various of reasons, I tend to believe it's because I never write stories about myself because it's too, strange. In the past I have projected a few things onto my characters that I didn't want to admit to myself. Such as a few sexual interests or desires in regards to play. There was also a bit of gender fluidity to this character I know realize was my mind projecting that I had in the past refused to even think about me as. Like I said, I take an active role in not listening to myself in the past. Something I'm doing my best to change. Still, gender is one of those things that I have and having a hard time with.

I don't consider myself transgendered at all. I love my female body and I love playing up my femininity whatever way I feel like in that moment. I like tricking the oblivious into thinking I'm just an innocent, weak willed, dainty girl then showing them up or surprising them. However, I have a lot of masculine energy that tends to express itself mentally and in my behavior at times which I like and am okay with. And... I have the desire to express myself appearance-wise as a guy at times. For the thrill of passing and tricking unsuspecting people, to feel what it's like... I do kind of feel strange about this topic as I don't wish to seem like I'm just playing around and offend TG people though...

My human body is 19. Fox age? Dunno, I'm forming my own theories regarding time. And this is the part where I think I'll be written off as a poser or wanna be, but I love and been fascinated with Japan ever since I was very small child. I'd lay my books on any book I could find and read about history and culture of Japan. I didn't realize manga, anime or knew about any Japanese pop culture existed until I was mid-teens, but I enjoy them as fictional entertainment, however, not to the same extent as my interest in ancient Japan. My interest is modern Japan is more of a curiosity of it, but I tend to have more of a deep seated interest in ancient Japan. I see modern and ancient Japan as very separate things, which makes sense given all the changes that occurred. You'll see the similar influences, but so much different... My major is Japanese studies with a minor in history. I hope no one thinks of me as an otakukin and disregard me because of it -.-"

I think it's a bit interesting that I connect more with western gods and goddesses and in rituals call upon in ritual. I'm also pretty curious about other ancient cultures and modern ones too. A fox full of curiosity! What a surprise there  

Hell, not sure what else I can say other than just to give you my social security number, phone number and address! x"D Mhmm.... I believe I have four tails, perhaps a fifth one, but I'm fairly sure about four. I have purple eyes and I believe my fur is a goldenish creme color. The thing about fur color is that it's not hard to disguise it with an illusion the color if the desire, need or occasion arises... Like to blend in with surroundings, pass as an red fox, hide in the shadows better etc...

So, um, so sorry about the mad long intro everyone! x"D I just can't bring myself to censor it shorter though. If you lived through this wall of text I give you my apologizes, thanks and a fish! In conclusion, KitsuHana it's great to be here and I'm psyched for all ya can give me! I feel really good getting me out here!

[Valere]

Oh god. I'm glad I fought my urges to make that post in color! That would've been so cruel. Anyone who reads that automatically gains the title "Legendary Carer of New Ramblers"! It'll show up on your psn achievements shortly.

*random additional info you don't particularly care about after that massive wall of text* I tend to feel more in tune with fire and air... I don't believe I'm a elemental fox and have no problems with the other elements, it's just I feel more of a connection with those two. Currently I do not serve or had any contact with Inari as far as I'm aware of...

[Takumi-no-Kitsune]

Hello there.

Very interesting story, newcomer. Being recently re-welcomed into the forums myself, I might as well make friends with newcomers.

Once I get my strength back enough, I will attempt to read you. I am sure there are others here that can. 

[Valere]

Thank you for welcoming me Takumi! It was a pleasure talking to you in shoutbox earlier. May we both have a pleasurable path filled with shinnies and adventures.

Are you feeling ill Takumi? I not hope! That saddens me if you are. Hopefully, if this is the unfortunately case, it's not serious. I'm not sure if you mean read while awake, sleeping or during astral projection. If you give me a heads up I'll do my best to be open and receptive to your reading, if you choose to do one that is. Unless you prefer a sneaking surprise encounter which might tell you more? In any case, I have a lot of good feelings about you! I'll leave it in your capable hands ^^

[tsukos]

Welcome *noms fish*  

Don't worry, Val (I shorten names  ) we'll treat you right... right? *glares at rest of forum*

I'm not gonna say anything on a specific point now, as most of these are best left for other times/discussions...

but... trying to conform+kitsune=heartache, pain, and self-loathing in my experience  

Also, gotta be honest with yourself if no one else... to steal Kira's quote 'You can lie to the entire world if only you are honest with yourself. :3

[Kyuuji]

While some others might seek to label themselves as otherkin

Otherkin ?... I've never really knew what it mean but that's isn't me
We could say we have a different path than the society which surround us every days.

I always tried my best to be "normal" and fit in with everyone. I often felt desperate in my attempt to become like an average person. This extends from me identifying as non-human to my sexual orientation and sexual desires.

There's nothing normal or weird. It's like physic if you made 2 steps forward then 2 steps backward if we put that in a Graph from the observator point (y axis) you didn't moved but you did! The only thing you're trying to do it's to be on the same level as the people who surround you on the y axis. The world as no y axis there's nothing normal !!*

Yeah, so I have a tendency to stubbornly ignore the obvious and have a few problems accepting myself until I'm forced to admit otherwise, something which I'm working on. The way I see it, at the very least I should be able to accept myself even if most of the world would prefer not to.

*I don't know about others but i mainly refuse to accept the fact that the society is right and that everything should be as it is.

I have a serve case of K.D.D (Kitsune Deficit Disorder... joke reference here, google the term if you don't get it, but I'm pretty serious about having it) which was mistakenly diagnosed by human doctors as A.D.D. I know they're somewhat similar, but still. The fox (note: I tend to use fox and kitsune interchangeably, yes I know there's a bit of a difference) represents survival and adaptability which is something that's pretty much a main feature of me.

K.D.D. I've read about that here my friends notice it very well ahah.

This isn't exactly proof, but I'm going to mention it anyways! I kind of feel a bit more validated because twice before two different people "read" me (spiritually) they saw a fox. The first women who was perhaps three years ago wouldn't have known kitsune in particular to mention that. It was her profession to read people (which doesn't guarantee skill or accuracy obviously). The second was a male who became a friend. On the first night of knowing me upon sharing that we were both pagan and mentioning his reading abilities, he read that among some other things about me correctly. This isn't the end all be all for proof. It's not just because someone else says it that I believe it, it's just I feel happy that other people in the occult read that off of me.

That's great that you could find people who share the same culture ? as you unlike a few of us including me couldn't meet such person. It's nice to know that others know that you're different.

It is only of this month that I found myself. The last past year I had a 'character' that I gave a bunch of traits to and thought of and mentally pondered. I became to realize as of late that it wasn't a character, but myself in fact!

ahah society is like a big bandwagon until you realize there's something beyond it  

I'm forming my own theories regarding time. And this is the part where I think I'll be written off as a poser or wanna be.

Theory.. I put life and culture all in one book and like in a whodunit i try to find... what life is truly i will know when i will finish it

Hell, not sure what else I can say other than just to give you my social security number, phone number and address! x"D Mhmm.... I believe I have four tails, perhaps a fifth one, but I'm fairly sure about four. I have purple eyes and I believe my fur is a goldenish creme color. The thing about fur color is that it's not hard to disguise it with an illusion the color if the desire, need or occasion arises... Like to blend in with surroundings, pass as an red fox, hide in the shadows better etc...

<4tehlulz>
Post your Credit number and your PIN here seriously it's safe.
</4thelulz>


OH WAIT ! i forgot  Welcome *Hugs2death*

[Kyuuji]

Don't worry, Val (I shorten names  )

thinking about it you've never shorten my name didn't you ?

[tsukos]

Would you prefer Kyu or Ji?

[Kyuuji]

Kyu 
it sound cute

[Valere]

tsu and Ji! (ha! Ji!) are cute 

Nope, shorting to Val is totally fine with me! There's two pronunciation of Valere anyways (a more girl version and a more male one).

@tsu sure! If you have some more pacific "point" things to say or ask about or tell me feel free to drop me a pm or im at silverhineko@yahoo.com (or for those aims, same sn ;p). Thanks for the lovely greeting tsu. I appreciate everyone's kind words to me and Tsunami's current companionship. Being around fellow kin makes me feel so happy And... the world's been kinda at my door trying to drag me down lately.

@Ji

*I don't know about others but i mainly refuse to accept the fact that the society is right and that everything should be as it is.

Yes. But, you don't have to be "right". You just have to have large numbers, be loud and ostracize others who don't abide by your definition of what's proper.

That's great that you could find people who share the same culture ? as you unlike a few of us including me couldn't meet such person. It's nice to know that others know that you're different.

Err... why did you italics culture? x.x"

OH WAIT ! i forgot  Smiley Welcome *Hugs2death*

*cuddles back and reincarnates happily  *

<4tehlulz> Post your Credit number and your PIN here seriously it's safe.
</4thelulz>

Okay! Since you asked for it my number is 1(716)675-4510 And my address is 98 Candy Lane apartment 4b. My pin number is... the day I first switched.  Credit card number is 4895... oh carp. I forgot the rest. Dang it all! *sad face*

[Hakuzo NightFox]

Welcome to the forum.

[matoa]

I use to think about what I could possibly be if I was not human, casually as not to make myself feel insane. I thought about various possibilities I could be, but never made the conscious realization of vulpine until recently. I could admire a tiger, various other big cats, hawks, or wolf for their traits, but I knew it wasn't me. The connection wasn't there for them. They weren't me. I tried going through many animals and thinking about them and if they fit or were me or not very nonchalant. Back then a large part of me wanted to still ignore who I was in favor of finding a place to belong, even if it wasn't the fit for me. I wanted to find people who'd me affection and pay me some mind and I thought people only would do that for people who fit in and were them like them.

This isn't exactly proof, but I'm going to mention it anyways! I kind of feel a bit more validated because twice before two different people "read" me (spiritually) they saw a fox. The first women who was perhaps three years ago wouldn't have known kitsune in particular to mention that. It was her profession to read people (which doesn't guarantee skill or accuracy obviously). The second was a male who became a friend. On the first night of knowing me upon sharing that we were both pagan and mentioning his reading abilities, he read that among some other things about me correctly. This isn't the end all be all for proof. It's not just because someone else says it that I believe it, it's just I feel happy that other people in the occult read that off of me.

I have never been "read" by anyone, and the few otherkin folks that I have met have been unable to place me. Usually I just tell them that I am a sympathizer human and they go along with that. And being the incredible skeptic that I am, I don't think I would recognize a Kitsuné if one jumped up and bit me on the rump.

From my current point of view proof is only required if you boast of super powers or powerful magic, otherwise I believe you for what you are, which as far as I can see is another soul (in this case a Fox or Kitsuné) wandering the eternal ether of life, and to whence you or I go, I know not. And if you someday discover that you are something else entirely, then I will welcome your discovery, and applaud your desire to be truthful with yourself.

So be welcome and I hope you find your voyage of self discovery and introspection enjoyable.

Are you by chance from western New York state?

Just curious, no need to reply. By the way, if you are handing out fish, Salmon is my favorite!

 

[Valere]

Greetings back Hakuko! Thank you for welcoming me.

Matoa first, thanks for beautiful welcome of course. I feel very much wanted and cared for here. Yeah, now I can make the number of people who read me three with Tsunami and I'm kinda curious about Takumi reading me since I struck a familiar cord with them, if they decide to do such a thing that is.

*hands Matoa Salmon*  Actually, yes I am. Are you by chance around me in the area or are your senses that strong?

[matoa]

*hands Matoa Salmon*   Actually, yes I am. Are you by chance around me in the area or are your senses that strong?

Sadly my senses are not that strong, and to be honest I don't know if I even have any sense. Here is a clue below:

Okay! Since you asked for it my number is 1(716)675-4510

Most folks even when intent on entering a fake phone number, still end up entering their actual prefix! (the 716 part) A simple reverse prefix lookup and it narrows you down to a relatively small area in western New York state.

But I was not absolutely sure, so I added a probing question to my welcome message, and that confirmed it! So I am not psychic, merely sneaky. This should be a lesson for the future to resist divulging information that you think may be harmless, but could relay more information than you intended.

Someone even sneaker than me (who perhaps knows you better) could even conceivably determine why you wrote the the address that you did.


My best guess at the remaining information:

And my address is 98 Candy Lane apartment 4b.

Such as the apartment information that implies that you are living in an apartment, as non apartment/rental dwellers would likely not include that in their post, and you most likely live on a street with a small address number, probably two numbers. I live at an address that has four numbers in that, and if I were trying to fake it offhandedly I would probably have four numbers (not the correct ones of course) in my post.

The simple number (4B) after the apartment designation is short, so that would either imply a simple numbering scheme in a large complex, or a small apartment complex, possibly only a handful of units. Again the number and letter would be different than yours, but it would likely follow the same format with a number followed by a letter.

There still are probably thousands of such units in the area code where you live, so I would not worry too much about me knowing the exact location.

Be careful when trying to trick a fox, they can easily trick you back! (Not that I am sure that I am one, but there you have it)

I hope you are not offended as I meant no harm!

 

[Valere]

Heh, actually for the fake address it was just randomness. I never lived in an apartment before and currently I resides in school dorms till the semester ends.

I am not offended at all! I will keep that tip about fake numbers in mind! My dorm room has actually three digits in it, digits as in numbers and no letters. Currently, due to college, I am residing in another area code all together! 716 is pretty much back where I grew up though. Still in the same state though.

I am curious if there is any foxes are around NY though (I'm referring to kin here). It'd be nice to meet another in the flesh as cuddles and glomps are much more effective when the other person in a body than when they're e-formed. Plus, the energy is more alive and surrounds you more.

Powered by SMF 1.1.15 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines
Blueace design by Crip | XHTML | CSS

Page created in 0.075 seconds with 19 queries.