next »

[Alynna]

I am reintroing because its been a very long time and I can't find my own intro i made when opening this board.   We have alot of new faces now, which is good, but probably none of them have seen my own intro, which as the site owner, is probably important to have...



I'm a fox in a human body, i've 6 tails, i'm part faerie as most you know.   By the strict definition of 'faerie' meaning 'nature spirit' I suspect many of us are.   But that's hard to tell.   I have memories of living lives as just a regular old physical fox.  Sometimes I have dreams of those lives, sometimes I have new dreams of a fox life, as if it were happening someplace while my human body is sleeping.   They aren't as frequent as they used to be, maybe my brain is wearing out, but they still happen around once a week, which it used to happen 2-3 times a week.

I remember my dreams alot more than it seems is normal.  I have more than one dream a week and in the majority of them i'm some kind of fox, whether multitailed or anthro or like the ones above.   I'd say that one dream a week is about being human, one is about being a feral fox, and the rest, are about either being a kitsune (either as a tiny butterfly winged kitsune or as a standard sized anthro one) or a mix of all of the above types.

I have seemingly unusual amounts of dream retention, possibly because my dreams seem to connect to my own spiritual existence, either in other lives or parallel to this one.  This is my theory about it.

I have instinctual reactions to things that seem to best correlate to 'fox things' or at least 'canid things', but I don't believe I am a dog or a wolf..   for example, sometimes I bark at things, or sometimes I feel like I want to dig a den under a house or hunt a rabbit (with my claws and teeth mind you) or something and the thought patterns associated with it are alot like if something were leaping out of my mind to want to do these things..

Honestly I know that I'm 'coping' with being human, the best I can.  I could try to explain how I cope with it, but I think that's another thread.  Suffice it to say it is more like my human aspect is more of a mask and a construct to pass my fox self off as a human, and it didn't really come easy to make such a thing.   Underneath I want to react to things like a fox would even though I know it would be less than good for my physical existence.

I'm currently a practicing pagan, specifically under the tenets of both druidry and shamanism, with some parts of shintoism worked into it as well.  My beliefs in the world around me are colored by the idea that i'm a fox, and that I also have a decent amount of access to past-life memories, so what I am willing to accept as truth in this lifetime is also colored by the memories I have of lives where I learned other things as well.  Because of this I believe strongly in reincarnation because I can remember past lives as a fox, therefore the idea of living only one life seems absurd to me.

My first introduction to the idea of kitsune came in the late 90's on FurryMUCK.  By then I had a good idea what I looked like from both dreams and astral introspection, and I described myself there as myself, a five tailed fox.   A few weeks later someone asked me if I was a kitsune and I asked what a kitsune was, and thats really when I started researching kitsune in specific.
 
I consider myself kitsune in the sense that a kitsune is a fox spirit and that is the simplest term that could be used to describe me.   In actuality things are more complex, but they always are, but the complexities are nothing that would actually change the fact that i'm a fox spirit first.   I consider myself otherkin and therian due to being a fox spirit, and being governed somewhat by fox spirit instincts.

On the therian side of matters, I do have mental shifts at times (somewhat described above) and experience phantom limb phenomena somewhat regularly.   I can't sleep on my back because it makes even the phantom presence of my tails uncomfortable.   

In another thread, about why we think we are here, I indicated i'd answer in my re-intro thread, because having some responsibility for this board, I think it's good for me to explain why I would start a place like this as well.

I believe i'm here to be a teacher.   I rarely do more to talk about my nature other than to explain, when it comes up, that i'm a fox and why I believe it.
I try my best to be humble, I don't actually want to seem like a cult leader (and some people have insinuated that I am one or trying to be one by taking up a place of 'leadership' like this)...

But I do want to learn about spiritual things, about kitsune like myself and about otherkin and I would say I feel if I do not do it, who does?   Someone is always going to have to be 'the leader'.
At the same time sometimes that makes me hesitate to even participate on my own board, because of the idea that if I say too much of the things I remember from previous (by my perception) lives, that it will be just taken at face value without any sort of challenge.

Differentiation between 'what is imagined' and 'what is remembered' can be difficult at times.   There are special attributes that such memories carry, that just imagined things do not, but sometimes its difficult to see them.   I expect this is similar for all folks which is why I say it is OK to challenge what others believe, and it should be expected that people will at the very least, think about what others say on the matter.  Simply offering other interpretations to beliefs, doesn't invalidate that belief.  Even if the other person says your full of BS, it doesn't mean you are. 

On the other hand if a large group thinks its implausible, there's probably a reason for that.

I actually could continue on with my intro for a very long time but it'd be tl;dr so I will just answer questions as you ask them.

[Kira]

 
Why hello Alynna, it's nice to see you again.
 
And don't worry about people blindly following you, I have rebellious truth and almost got kicked out of college for criticising a teacher's approach of "teaching by not teaching".

[tsukos]

Well, it's nice to see your intro that I couldn't find when I originally joined X3

This is all quite interesting to me and I'd like to know more, just out of curiosity.

[MrNatsu]

Wave your tails, And I will follow
Lead me to the cliff, And your tails will follow me down >:3

[Feathertail]

My first introduction to kitsune was on a MUCK too (FurrySpace). I saw someone's species listed as that and thought "Huh, why'd he put down the Japanese word for fox?" Since I'd learned some Japanese when I was little, but hadn't heard any legends.

The fact that you knew you had five tails before you'd even found out about them is very interesting

[Alynna]

Well, it's nice to see your intro that I couldn't find when I originally joined X3

This is all quite interesting to me and I'd like to know more, just out of curiosity.

Ask specific questions cause I would not know where to start ...

[tsukos]

Hmm...

There is something I want to ask but I'm not sure how to phrase it...

So I'll ask something else. Or maybe just say stuff, completely random conjecture about random things, and maybe I'll figure something out.

One of the first things that I found on spirituality outside Christianity was a book on Scientology. I know that immediately raises alarm bells, but I thought the space aliens were ridiculous just like everyone else with any sort of sanity and never actually ascribed to that sort of insanity.

There were tidbits, though, that piqued my curiosity. One was the idea that every being in existence seeks to survive on a number of levels. The other was that everyone and everything had a divine (or spiritual) nature.

I've since learned this is a mashup of various other beliefs that I am supremely ignorant of and don't wish to offend if anyone subscribes to them.

But I wonder; if we are spirits as kitsune, then are we really that different from humans, who also have spirits? And who is to say that a human spirit can't inhabit a kitsune body for a lifetime or two? That's something to think about.

I suppose in the end the question I wanted to ask related to your opinions on spirituality. ^^; I am so roundabout sometimes.

[Alynna]

Hmm...

There is something I want to ask but I'm not sure how to phrase it...

So I'll ask something else. Or maybe just say stuff, completely random conjecture about random things, and maybe I'll figure something out.

One of the first things that I found on spirituality outside Christianity was a book on Scientology. I know that immediately raises alarm bells, but I thought the space aliens were ridiculous just like everyone else with any sort of sanity and never actually ascribed to that sort of insanity.

There were tidbits, though, that piqued my curiosity. One was the idea that every being in existence seeks to survive on a number of levels. The other was that everyone and everything had a divine (or spiritual) nature.

I've since learned this is a mashup of various other beliefs that I am supremely ignorant of and don't wish to offend if anyone subscribes to them.

But I wonder; if we are spirits as kitsune, then are we really that different from humans, who also have spirits? And who is to say that a human spirit can't inhabit a kitsune body for a lifetime or two? That's something to think about.

I suppose in the end the question I wanted to ask related to your opinions on spirituality. ^^; I am so roundabout sometimes.

Every effective lie has a little bit of truth to it.  Without that truth, it couldn't stand for as long as it has.
Scientology is a network of control founded on a few basic truths, truths that aren't really special and aren't really a secret.   

Truth #1 is that everyone IS a spiritual being first and foremost, in that they have a spiritual aspect existing eternally, going from life to life, learning, changing and evolving.
Bodies and souls fizzle out every lifetime but the spirit persists from its beginning to its unknowable end. 
Ask me how you end a body, and I will say you kill it.  Ask me how you end a soul, and I will say you consume it.  But ask me how you end a spirit, and I will say I do not know..
If you ask the allegedly all powerful Judeo-christian god why he would send someone to hell rather than simply destroy them?  Maybe it is because he cannot, maybe it is because nothing can.

Such is my belief at least.  I call it truth because thats what my gut instinct and my memories and my experiences and my observations tell me.

Truth #2 is that auditing is nothing more than basic introspection and meditation while hooked up to a lie detector so that the person auditing you can see if you believe the words coming out of your mouth.    Which is to say, on some level, auditing works.  It also helps that their e-meters (read: lie detectors) help them determine if an idea that they introduce to you actually takes as something you come to believe.   This being said, it stands to reason that while auditing might *work*, it doesn't necessarily mean its good for you.   

It is very true that if you down mountain dew laced with cyanide, you're likely to die.

But back on the spirit point, I think the major difference between all spirits is not that they are fundamentally different in form and substance, but that they are fundamentally different in nature.   This being said, I think that all spirits come by their nature through experiences spanning multiple lives, as you live more lives, you naturally learn to retain more, but that death is necessary, because a lifetime of data is a sea where the water is far more common than the fish, especially when you're just after the fish...

If we remembered all your lifetimes, truly I tell you, there would be no sanity to be found in the universe.   You don't need to remember every moment of being an abused slave for 30 years for one of your lifetimes.   You need to remember only what was important, what grows you in the long run.

[tsukos]

Where'd auditing come from? O_o I have literally cherry-picked a single book on Scientology, and that was a long time ago now. Sorry.

As for the rest of it... I don't exactly understand all of the spirit stuff.

But what it sounds like you're saying is that it doesn't really matter so much how we identify ourselves, because eventually we're going to end up as just about everything sooner or later. But, we do identify ourselves based on the most powerful experiences we've had, which we remember most clearly.

Or maybe I'm confused.

[Alynna]

Where'd auditing come from? O_o I have literally cherry-picked a single book on Scientology, and that was a long time ago now. Sorry.

Actually this is more of just a general note about scientology in general, in that, it wouldn't have lasted this long if it was not effective in doing *something*.

As for the rest of it... I don't exactly understand all of the spirit stuff.

But what it sounds like you're saying is that it doesn't really matter so much how we identify ourselves, because eventually we're going to end up as just about everything sooner or later. But, we do identify ourselves based on the most powerful experiences we've had, which we remember most clearly.

Or maybe I'm confused.

Pretty much.  Some spirits are older than others, but most spirits have had many lifetimes even if they don't remember them all, and the inclination to be of a certain nature, at least I believe this, comes from the lives that have left the most impression, and that might even lead to the spirit preferring that nature.    I think there ARE spirits here that are on their first lifetime, i believe there are even ones on their second and last time they were a fox.  But those spirits are relatively rare, maybe around 5% tops are on the 1st to 2nd lifetime.   

But to have these beliefs, you have to believe in reincarnation, that our spirits are going from life to life, learning and growing.  Alot of the lives I remember, are fox lives, but there's been some others as well.  Not sure i've been a human before (but honestly, I probably have), but i've been a rabbit before, been a tree, been a wolf, been an otter, a dragon more than once, and I could list more but you get the idea I hope...

I believe that i've gained a certain amount of control over what I become next lifetime, which is part of why I remember things now.   But i'm not even sure that the divine have *total* control.

Speaking of divine, and to clarify something in the original post, there's a big difference between spiritual nature and divine nature.   Spiritual nature, everyone has, by virtue of being a spiritual entity.  But divine nature, is something everyone is capable of reaching but happens over time as one gains wisdom and experience through the living of lives.

In fact the story of the progress of kitsune is a metaphorical expression of this idea, but it really applies to all spirits.

[tsukos]

I see.

You remember being a tree?

I'm just curious about that.

[Kyuuji]

I see.

You remember being a tree?

I'm just curious about that.

It may seem weird but i have tough of becoming a tree when i'll die

I'm curious about that too

[Alynna]

Being a tree is, quite honestly, a refreshing vacation from being an animal.   You get to feel every little bit of life within you, and on you.  Losing branches doesn't usually hurt unless they are very close to the trunk.   The sensation of things living on you, making their nests and dens, well it wouldn't work out for mammals, but if you're a tree, its a sensation I don't have human words to describe except to say its a good one..

On a related note, that which we can perceive life in, as in, the things around us we know are alive, also know they are alive as well.  A spirit does not need a huge brain to be aware of its own existence and its own self.  That does not mean we should stop eating because everything we'd eat is aware its being eaten, because then we couldn't eat.  Even a tree knows something dies for it to eat.  This is just the cycle of life.   There is no evil in being part of this cycle.   Humans in general spend so much effort in not being part of this cycle, that they even encase themselves in boxes to prevent trees and plants from feeding on their nutrients after death.  Maybe they are afraid they will become part of the tree.  I don't see why they should have this fear..  your spirit will go off to become whatever it supposed to be, who cares what happens to the physical body, you'll get another one ...

[tsukos]

I can imagine. You don't need to move, indeed you don't need to do anything actively in order to survive, and with that there's no sense of hurry or urgency.

Life as a tree would be an excellent rest; a chance to sort things out and just sit; there's not much you can do to improve your odds of surviving except grow in the right direction.

[Kira]

 
Plants are different.
Like a waking dream.
I sort of can feel it.
Like a song.
When I get in touch with one.
And listen.

Powered by SMF 1.1.15 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines
Blueace design by Crip | XHTML | CSS

Page created in 0.064 seconds with 18 queries.