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[Feathertail]

I had an extremely intense spiritual experience last night, that left me shaken and grateful. I was going to post about it here in my intro thread, but I thought I should ask what the best way to do that would be, first. I came here to talk about it, at any rate, because I want to know how to make sense of it all. And what I should do based on it.

Besides that, um ...

I'm a furry, but the transformation stories my mate and I write sorta straddle the line between "furry" and "therian / otherkin." The way I always used to see it, people's fursonas are important symbols to them, that help them to form their identities.

After finding out that the truth claims of the religion I grew up in were bogus, I kinda had to adopt that approach to religion as well ... that it's a positive thing to believe in, and it's certainly "true" in some sense, but it's not necessarily literal. But I've always been fascinated with kitsune, and Inari, and therian / otherkin-ness. And all this time I've been saying prayers, just because the ritual comforted me. I just wasn't sure who or what I was praying to until last night.

If this is totally not the place to talk about it, let me know. I'm going to visit some neopagan sites as well. And if there's anything I should be aware of before talking about it, please let me know that too so I don't step on anyone's tails.

Hi, all. >.>b

[Shiroune]

Hi, welcome to kitsuhana. I'm new here too. I look forward to hearing about your spiritual experience.

[Feathertail]

Hi, welcome to kitsuhana. I'm new here too. I look forward to hearing about your spiritual experience.

Thanks. ._.

Okay, um ... I guess I might as well just post it here so that hopefully someone will have answered by tomorrow morning. >.>b Because I want to know what I should do about this.

A couple of days ago I remembered Inari and kitsune, and decided to start reading about them them again. I really liked what I read, so I started trying to justify it to my rational mind. "A deity's just a meme, right? I like what the Inari meme stands for, so it can't hurt to imagine the concepts I like as her. Can it?" Her Japanese worshipers all seem to have their own ideas of what she's like -- personal ones, not priests' interpretations -- so I wrote down a list of qualities that I'd like "my Inari" to have, within the overall theme of foxes, food, and fertility. And I told myself how my computers let me do "magic" that's like in the kitsune legends. I started directing my prayers to Inari, even though it felt like I was talking to myself.

Then last night, after hours of arguing with hardcore atheists and refining my beliefs against theirs, I decided ... well ... to just have faith that Inari exists, and not worry so much about how she exists. And to let her be herself, and not try to impose my beliefs on her. After that I prayed to her, and she replied in the middle of my prayer and asked me some really tough questions. About why I believed, why I wanted to believe, why I was so fascinated with kitsune and why I wished that I was one. I was shocked that she was addressing me like this, and I squirmed and tried to answer her, but she picked my new answers apart and asked even harder questions. She wasn't mean about it, it was just terrifying to be put on the spot by her. And realize this wasn't a game.

I'm not sure how much I should go into my past here, but I've changed a lot in the last few years, very much for the better. And while praying to Inari, I felt strongly that she had been behind my change, and had been receiving my prayers for awhile now. I wanted to serve her, to tell her how grateful I was, to revere her kitsune servitors and somehow, someday, maybe become one in a future life. A confession it took her awhile to get out of me, because I was scared to death that it'd be impertinent. But she wasn't upset, and she started asking why I wanted that. I couldn't come up with anything more coherent than "Because I wish I could be something more."

"More like ... what?" she asked, and I felt like she was chiding me for thinking kitsune were "above" humans.

"More ... like myself," I realized. And all of a sudden I knew what it meant, and I knew what she had been getting at.

Now I don't mean to say that she spoke using audible words. >.>; And I'm not trying to claim that I'm "special," or "chosen," or anything like that. I don't know. I'm more scared than anything else, even though I'm trying to trust her. I don't know how many tails I have, and I don't know much of anything about magic except how it's similar to writing and programming.

I just want to know what I should do. How you all think I should approach Inari, or how I should adjust to the idea of being a kitsune. And I need to know if it changes anything if I'm part-dragon, since I kind of suspect that for different reasons. >.>;

[Seeker]

Because I want to know what I should do about this.

Unfortunately there's no easy answer. When something like this happens you've gt to contemplate it. I would suggest writing down every detail you can remember and keeping it somewhere safe.

Now I don't mean to say that she spoke using audible words.

I get what you mean by this. I've never been visited by Inari but my guide was the same way when she made contact.

I don't know much of anything about magic except how it's similar to writing and programming.

Magic is what you want it to be. Magic is will and energy, or incantations and candles, or dance, or lovemaking. There's lots of magic in the world, it's just that none of it goes *poof* and hands you what you want on a platter.

I just want to know what I should do. How you all think I should approach Inari, or how I should adjust to the idea of being a kitsune. And I need to know if it changes anything if I'm part-dragon, since I kind of suspect that for different reasons.

Oddly enough, most kitsune that come here mention some connection to dragons. It's par for the course, don't worry too much about it.

[/quote]

that it's a positive thing to believe in, and it's certainly "true" in some sense, but it's not necessarily literal.

I like your attitude.

If this is totally not the place to talk about it, let me know. I'm going to visit some neopagan sites as well. And if there's anything I should be aware of before talking about it, please let me know that too so I don't step on anyone's tails.

Of course a kitsune forum is the right place to ask about kitsune, lol. Even if it wasn't categorically the best choice, you'd still be welcome here. But by all means, wander and find new information. If you came here to be catechized, you'll be disappointed.

[tsukos]

Hi.

I'm Tsukos.

I'm kinda in a weird spot right now myself as regards my beliefs. I believe I am a kitsune, with my basic, undeniable proof for doing so being that I'd go nuts if I didn't. ^^;

There are other reasons though, and if you don't feel like digging through the forums for them feel free to contact me privately or ask ^^;


There is a lot to be learned from an experience like yours.

A couple of days ago I remembered Inari and kitsune, and decided to start reading about them them again. I really liked what I read, so I started trying to justify it to my rational mind. "A deity's just a meme, right? I like what the Inari meme stands for, so it can't hurt to imagine the concepts I like as her. Can it?" Her Japanese worshipers all seem to have their own ideas of what she's like -- personal ones, not priests' interpretations -- so I wrote down a list of qualities that I'd like "my Inari" to have, within the overall theme of foxes, food, and fertility. And I told myself how my computers let me do "magic" that's like in the kitsune legends. I started directing my prayers to Inari, even though it felt like I was talking to myself.

Then last night, after hours of arguing with hardcore atheists and refining my beliefs against theirs, I decided ... well ... to just have faith that Inari exists, and not worry so much about how she exists. And to let her be herself, and not try to impose my beliefs on her. After that I prayed to her, and she replied in the middle of my prayer and asked me some really tough questions. About why I believed, why I wanted to believe, why I was so fascinated with kitsune and why I wished that I was one. I was shocked that she was addressing me like this, and I squirmed and tried to answer her, but she picked my new answers apart and asked even harder questions. She wasn't mean about it, it was just terrifying to be put on the spot by her. And realize this wasn't a game.

I'm not sure how much I should go into my past here, but I've changed a lot in the last few years, very much for the better. And while praying to Inari, I felt strongly that she had been behind my change, and had been receiving my prayers for awhile now. I wanted to serve her, to tell her how grateful I was, to revere her kitsune servitors and somehow, someday, maybe become one in a future life. A confession it took her awhile to get out of me, because I was scared to death that it'd be impertinent. But she wasn't upset, and she started asking why I wanted that. I couldn't come up with anything more coherent than "Because I wish I could be something more."

"More like ... what?" she asked, and I felt like she was chiding me for thinking kitsune were "above" humans.

"More ... like myself," I realized. And all of a sudden I knew what it meant, and I knew what she had been getting at.

Identity is a huge part of this. ^^; one person here says that all kitsune actually have a part of Inari in their souls. I for one am inclined to believe it, even though I don't follow Her... not right now anyways.

It's not a game. Seeing into this, experiencing it, and making these revelations and choices is a serious matter. I've actually had a similar experience... and realized that, despite the experience, I would be going against my own nature to follow Inari, or anyone else, as a deity right now. And she seemed to respect that conclusion.

One of the parallels I have found in several of these accounts now is that Inari wants people to know themselves first, before making decisions about her. I've witnessed what you might call a conversion, or magic, or coercion, or someone finding religion in a big way with Inari... and the only description I can apply is 'intense'.

Now I don't mean to say that she spoke using audible words. >.>; And I'm not trying to claim that I'm "special," or "chosen," or anything like that. I don't know. I'm more scared than anything else, even though I'm trying to trust her. I don't know how many tails I have, and I don't know much of anything about magic except how it's similar to writing and programming.

I just want to know what I should do. How you all think I should approach Inari, or how I should adjust to the idea of being a kitsune. And I need to know if it changes anything if I'm part-dragon, since I kind of suspect that for different reasons. >.>;

I don't think spirits speak audibly ^^;. Nobody's special or chosen (and anyone who thinks they are is an idiot).

Also... no one starts something new with any knowledge of it. I've realized that in most cases, people who fear discovery also fear what they might discover about themselves. But that's rarely something to fear. Be cautious of, certainly, but not fear.

I didn't know how many tails I had at first either. I said one. Now, I feel I have two. Don't overestimate yourself in that regard.

Magic is thought. Magic is will. Magic, therefore, is whatever the heck you want it to be. It's a nifty catch-all for stuff we can't explain. ^^;

As for what you should do? learn. Ask questions. Think. Play. That last one is very important. You can't be serious without being silly or you'll burn out :3

Approach Inari in your own way. She will accommodate you. And you'd have to deliberately try to piss her off to piss her off. ^^;

You'll figure out what you really are in time. It's that simple. ^^;

Of course, following all this is my usual qualifier that I'm a fool as far as I know. Any nuggets of wisdom are purely coincidental. I find this works well for getting people to think about the things I say than telling them this is 'just advice'. :3

[StormFox]

Everyone is special, as everyone is unique in their own way. There are many unexplainable things that can be called in the banner of 'magic'.

Learning about yourself may be a bit frightening, but it's better than not knowing who you are and not knowing what you can and can't do.

I believe that the number of tails you have is the amount of wisdom you have gathered about yourself. Not being able to see, feel how many tails you have is telling you that the knowledge may be hidden deeply in your mind. Not forgotten, but rather unable to access. Don't worry about that though, for the answers you are looking for about yourself may just be what you need to know the 'silly' tail count. I went from a blob of which I was unable to really tell the amount, to two tails, and there is still a lot to learn.

Inari is a great deity in that matter, as I too feel she wants what is best for us, and encourages us to find out about everything.

[Kyuuji]

Welcome to the forums  

I hope you'll enjoy your stay and find what you want. I hope too you'll bring something new here.
It's nice that you had "contact" with Inari. I've never talk to a spirit I've always seen them in front of me and nothing more. Maybe because I "hate" to speak so we talk to each other in another way.
I know i'm a 2-tailed white fox (and that the only thing i know). I hope you'll find it, it came to me after 2 years and 11 month. I usually don't have memory but when it's spirit related it's like if i'm marked

Magic eh ?
Here it happen without i'm even conscious of it... Well really i don't even know. I'm a pro for being invisible tough

[Feathertail]

I had a lot of trouble coming back here to see what responses were. I mean, on top of knowing how "crazy" I sounded, I was kind of afraid that coming in here claiming to have been contacted by Inari would get me thrown out or put in my place. Which is why I put in so many disclaimers.

Thank you all for welcoming me, and I'll try to express some of my thoughts here and on the other boards maybe. A lot of you said some really great, useful stuff.

Magic is what you want it to be. Magic is will and energy, or incantations and candles, or dance, or lovemaking. There's lots of magic in the world, it's just that none of it goes *poof* and hands you what you want on a platter.

That's the impression I get. I think I was on the right track seeing my writing and programming as magic; a good Android app can have a physical effect on the world, and a good story can change someone's outlook. I guess the "magic" I'm interested in is knowing how to put myself in certain mindsets, or coming closer to Inari. I've been talking to a neopagan friend about rituals and things.

If you came here to be catechized, you'll be disappointed.

Noes, I just want to talk and listen.

[tsukos]

Crazy is relative. Most of us think the rest of us are perfectly alright. A lot of 'normal people' might think we're all absolutely raving nuts.

I obviously can't speak for everyone, but personally your story would have to be far more out-there than it is for me to say 'crazy', and even then I'd be more likely to edge towards 'lying'. This is tame compared to some of the stories I've heard. ^^;

[Shiroune]

That's really cool. It sounds like she really had you thinking right there. I've never talked to spirits or anything before. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will. I'd really like to get to know her rather than just know about her.

[Kira]

 
Heheh, crazy like the foxes we are.
 
Anyway, a lot of the stuff you said resonates with me.
 
Foxes and Dragons, Seeker already pointed that one out.
We're still looking for the connection.
The best thing I've gotten was a hint from my zita (~guardian-spirit) Evans:
"In the end you'll figure, that foxes and dragons, are very much the same."
 
And Magic, I think comparing it to programming is really an interesting way to go about it.
In the end, any technology advanced enough is indistinguishable from magic.
Like, in the middle ages mechanical locks were thought to be witchcraft.
 
And about meeting Inari...
Oh yeah, I remember.
She called me in a dream a long time ago, about three years after I sent my wish to the stars about wanting to become a fox.
I was hesitant and afraid to follow the call in that dream at first, but then did after all.
And then there she was with attendands and all, in the form of an old woman, and made me into a fox.
 
Yeah, so no worries Feather, I believe you'll fit right in here.
Riceballs for everyone!
*puts a dish of fresh, tasty riceballs into the room and begins noming on one*

[matoa]

Welcome, I appreciate your candor. Most of us don't bite, just keep your posts honest and forthright, and there should not be any problems.

Make sure to read through the forums, there is a lot here that is VERY meaningful in quite a few ways. It may take weeks or months to sort it all out, but I would welcome your comments on any old topics.

 

[Feathertail]

Make sure to read through the forums, there is a lot here that is VERY meaningful in quite a few ways. It may take weeks or months to sort it all out, but I would welcome your comments on any old topics.

Thanks for the suggestion! I'm trying to read through it some ... I posted a thread on the discovery board, and it addresses some of the things that I read in old topics there, too.

Also, thanks for the riceballs, Kira. Inari has been represented as a dragon before, I think, so perhaps foxes and dragons are related? And it's been interesting to hear about others' experiences with her! I'm actually relieved that this is normal, and/or okay. Both being in contact with her, and being a kitsune in general.

That's really cool. It sounds like she really had you thinking right there. I've never talked to spirits or anything before. Sometimes I wonder if I ever will. I'd really like to get to know her rather than just know about her.

I feel like I ought to help you with that, but darned if I know how. In my case, I had to allow myself to believe that she really existed. It's also been suggested to me that genuineness helps; over the past few years she's kind of been stripping me of my illusions, and then when I actually talked to her she asked me some piercing questions.

Maybe it's a matter of genuine faith and desire? I'm not sure, and I'd hesitate to believe that because it might make you feel bad if you can't. In a lot of ways, I feel like it wasn't my choice; I was kind of unwillingly transformed, and made into something that could serve her. My real self, I think. Maybe just be yourself and ask yourself questions, and see what you learn and what happens.

(Also, I'd just like to note it seems odd that Inari would be so concerned with genuineness, when her children are tricksters. Maybe she wants us to realize that we can't fool her ... or that we shouldn't try to fool ourselves.)

[tsukos]

As Kira is fond of saying, "You can fool the entire world, if you are only honest with yourself."

Trickery is important to Kitsune. But we should strive not to place ourselves under our own illusions, lest we weaken ourselves to outside influence. That's what Inari wants us to learn.

The lesson is not that she knows all... it's that you should know yourself before you attempt to befuddle others.

I just said the same thing three different ways :\

Ah well.

[Kira]

 
Heheh, Tsukos, I was about to say just that.
 
You could probabl also add something like:
"To make a convincing illusion, you must first know reality."
or:
"The better you know the rules, the more skillfully you can bend or break them."

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