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[Kirieaie]

 
I've been around multiple otherkin communities for awhile now, and stumbled upon this one recently. I've been searching for what I am for the past 6-7 years. Unfortunately I've encounters too many people that have tried to influence me, claiming they could "see me" astrally and all that good stuff.

From a young age I growled when threatened, yelped when shocked or hurt and made a purr like sound when content. My parents tried to discourage it but to no avail.

So at first I thought I was a cat (when I was around 4-5 years old). I act partially like a cat, but also partially like a dog naturally. So that didn't make sense..
Then I thought a wolf (around 13 years old) because of my canine like nature. However that doesn't explain the catlike nature I have.

Then a dragon. Now that was a big jump, except I had dreams of being a dragon. Turns out they may have been from the perspective of a past life mate or something along those lines.

Next came the gryphon. Part feline and part bird...except that got too complicated. It didn't include canine traits or draconic traits at all. However that felt the closest so far. I joined the Gryphons Guild to meet some other Gryphonkin and found very little in common with them. They just felt different from me but I couldn't figure out why.

Then I thought maybe I was a dracogryph, that might make the difference make sense. Nope, still missing the canine personality.

All this was happening while I had friends claiming I was a valkyrie, half angel half demon, demon, celestial human, and the list goes on and on. It makes me wonder if I'm that confusing because from my friends experiences kintype was at least obvious to them.

And then something horrible happened in my life. I escaped within to figure myself out, and found the catlike canine. The red fox (silver coloured).

So that's when I started looking into kitsune. Things started to make more and more sense. Illusions would only exist until I was hurt enough to keep them up. Both times something horrible happened I reverted back into a silver fox.

It would also explain why I'd feel phantom limbs of creatures I thought I was before, the ability to shapeshift. It would also explain why so many people felt I wasn't to be trusted (being cunning and all that), despite the fact I live by my word. Integrity to me is extremely important.

The two phantom limbs I've always felt were ears towards the top back corners of my skull and a long tail. Once and awhile I'll feel wings on my back, but they come and go.

Now if I go by how I act I act like a cat and a dog mixed. I'm not fond of groups and I'm extremely curious. I'm also rather friendly (if any of this makes any sense). My favourite foods are salmon and chicken, I get cravings for both of these.

Now I question if I'm a kitsune, a regular fox therian, a tanuki or a raccoon. Since the tanuki also has the ability to shapeshift, I could be confused with that. So I guess while I feel like my search is coming to an end I still have things to question about myself.

I feel drawn to the void and fire elements...

And that was my long winded introduction of the messedupness of me!  

[tsukos]

Hello!

I couldn't tell you whether your assumptions, your path, your choices are correct. That's a personal question and a personal conclusion, and all I can offer is advice and suppositions 

So far, sounds like a fox. Kitsune, at least as it is popularly defined here, is a little more difficult. I'd love to hear more, stories and such, amusing anecdotes, etc   

Now, before some of the more skeptical and harsh members show up to ruin the day, I'd like to say that there's not really a right answer except the one you feel is right. No one can influence what you think of yourself unless you allow them to. You'll inevitably be asked questions if you stick around, and truthful answers will help both you and us better understand.

  incidentally, have you ever tried fried tofu?

[Alynna]

honestly that description has alot of parallels to my own discoveries over a decade ago...   especially the species dragon and cat.. back in the mid to late 90s when .. not when I was discovering all this which started when I was 7, but when I was making sense of it, in my mid teens to early 20's..  I gravitated towards things that I saw that seemed close, and thought I might be a dragon or a cat very early on.   

I didn't have the context to know one way or another at first, I think its because dragons and cats are more 'common' therefore its attributes are more of a known factor.

[Kira]

 
I second that.
The species I went through were fox, wolf, raven, dragon and cat.
 
As I see it kitsune is the japanese name for fox. Foxes are said to do awesome feats in all sorts of cultures. The japanese culture simply happens to be the one culture that has the most stories about foxes.
 
By the way, are you hyperactive too?

[Kirieaie]

I'm not sure if I've had fried tofu, I may have but it may have been awhile ago. It's not a very common food in the UK. I used to live in Cali though.

It's true that cats and dragons are seen a lot more...if I think back the only things I saw that pertained to foxes were the Fox and the Hound, Robin Hood and Aesop's Tales...

They don't really teach you anything about the nature of the actual animal, or about kitsunes either. And in a lot of animes I think they're portrayed as being loose. Actually, a lot of those fables just reinforce those old stereotypes don't they? I read countless books about cats as a child, so makes sense I thought of a cat first.

For the bird part of the gryphon I thought of the raven or the osprey. I think the gryphon may be some sort of guardian or totem however, because in my dreams it's in third person, I myself see her but I'm something different from her.

I'd imagine if I was some ferocious gryphon or dragon I wouldn't be shy to confrontation and being yelled at at my job. I'm not fond of it at all. I'd imagine I'd be quicker to speak up rather than avoid it altogether.

Yeah, I used to be much more energetic than I am now, however my school and family thought there was something wrong with me for it and had me drugged for it (they also tried to get rid of the fact that I'm gay...). I'm still more energetic than most of my coworkers though XD I'm extremely curious and get bored of things pretty easily.

I can't tell how many tails I have at all. I can feel a tail but it could be a few of them together since they all connect at the same point on the body.  

There was a girl a few years ago that claimed she saw my astral. The only reason I took note of anything she said was she kept it simple. She could not tell what I was, she only saw a white glow and a white ball somewhere near me. I'm not sure if she saw me at all or if that sort of thing is possible but compared to the other claims I heard from people what she said was quite tame.

[tsukos]

From what I've seen, foxes generally tend not to seek confrontation. We prefer to observe first, then make our moves carefully so we don't get into trouble.

Ditto for being energetic, curious, and easily bored.

Now, I hope this isn't too sensitive for anyone, but I've noticed that very few of the kitsune I've met are straight. I don't know if that's related at all.

A white glow and a white ball? Hmm... I remember a topic on here somewhere about something like that, 'star balls' or something.

[Seeker]

Why is it always dragons?

Welcome, Kirieaie.

[StormFox]

Welcome.

I've had a path of different animals as well, though quite the bit shorter.. Went from dog to fox, then to wolf and then back to kitsune..

I myself am not that energetic about stuff though; I tend to stay in the 'observe from a safe distance mode' fairly long. I occasionally do break out of the calm me though, and you could say I'm quite hyper then.

Keep working and finding out stuff, things may get clearer about your tails. I had a 'blur' of tails as well, now I know I have two.

Now, I hope this isn't too sensitive for anyone, but I've noticed that very few of the kitsune I've met are straight.

Maybe that's because in the end, kitsune are shapeshifters and are often related to sexual change as well (and being the most feline/female of the canine/male). Besides that, I'd be one of the few exceptions on that account, even though my preferred state wouldn't be considered 'normal' either.

[Kirieaie]

In my case it was more of...if someone was forward with me or started to yell at me at my job instead of standing up I have a tendency to back away or get really nervous. Live to fight another day and whatnot. I do find it much easier to observe and plan accordingly.

The problem I have with meditating is I fall asleep halfway through XD. That's probably one of the reasons I cannot sense all of myself as of yet...

[matoa]

The problem I have with meditating is I fall asleep halfway through XD. That's probably one of the reasons I cannot sense all of myself as of yet...

It happens to me too, the best advice I got on the subject was to meditate shortly after waking up, that way you have less of a chance of accidentally falling asleep.

My animal chain was originally the Dolphin, followed by the Orca, (Large and dragon like to my mind, but in the water) then to the Wolf, and now the Fox. I also do not have any confirmation or proof that I am anything other than human, but hopefully we can discuss our thoughts and help each other find some answers.

Be welcome, and have a pleasant stay for as long as you like.

 

[Kirieaie]

I do remember one  weird instance when I was five years old..I was staying at my relatives house and the neighbourhood kids were outside the window. They were all around my age but they kept yelling "hello old lady" over and over at me. That and once and awhile I get barked at for some strange reason...

The one constant thing I HAVE felt though are the ears and a tail. I remember keeping the door open longer after me to make sure my tail wouldn't get caught as I closed it. 

Actually if I try meditating in the morning I'm even more likely to fall asleep  It's because I'm more awake at night than the morning.

[tsukos]

Now, I hope this isn't too sensitive for anyone, but I've noticed that very few of the kitsune I've met are straight.

Maybe that's because in the end, kitsune are shapeshifters and are often related to sexual change as well (and being the most feline/female of the canine/male). Besides that, I'd be one of the few exceptions on that account, even though my preferred state wouldn't be considered 'normal' either.

Now there's something I'd love to know. If your preferred state isn't 'normal', then what is it?


Hm... I have a different problem with meditation. I have to try it when I could normally go to sleep, otherwise I'm not calm enough. I can't do it in the mornings because I'm too restless whether I'm completely awake or not XD Despite that I've not really managed to achieve what I've heard most commonly described as a 'meditative state'. I've managed to get free flow of thoughts and information a few times though.

[StormFox]

Now, I hope this isn't too sensitive for anyone, but I've noticed that very few of the kitsune I've met are straight.

Maybe that's because in the end, kitsune are shapeshifters and are often related to sexual change as well (and being the most feline/female of the canine/male). Besides that, I'd be one of the few exceptions on that account, even though my preferred state wouldn't be considered 'normal' either.

Now there's something I'd love to know. If your preferred state isn't 'normal', then what is it?

Well, umm.. Let's say it like this.. I like women, but then why would I myself want to be what I don't like?  I'd be lesbian, but I'm physically male.


I'm able to meditate wherever I am (even in the bus, or on the train or some other busy place), though also only at times. Early in the morning I could fall asleep instead though (and still managing to wake up at where I have to get off the bus/train). 

[tsukos]

@Stormfox: I see. I get something kinda similar to that... we can talk about it more over PMs if you'd like.

@Kirieaie: Who barks at you?

[Kirieaie]

Usually just random guys bark at me. Children either stare at me curiously or shy away from me.

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