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[Shinka]

I had no idea.what to do with this.So it's trash i guess.

I have lived the lives of  other people and seen the outcomes of possible futures.Nothing is certain though.I feel a strong urge to say something.But my own voice  does not reach  me.I  don't know why I currently feel  the way I do.I can hear a voice screaming.but to no avail.It's not Horin...nor is it Fauron.it's not any soul i know. It's just a voice.Like a fluttering distant memory...calling to me.what should I do?...What can I  do to hear it?...are my intentions really to hear it?. Maybe I just can't calm  my mind well enough to hear that voice.
I've been having day dreams.Seeing people I feel I recognize though I know them not.I can't understand.what do I fear from hearing that voice?...I dunno.the only things I can say are for sure...is that I am Kitsune.and this is m family.those of you who come to see who you are.you are all my family.I know I've gone erratic here.thus the reason this is trash.How can I comprhend such things in my mind.like a cascade of the forgotten memories.I can't compose myself well enough at the moment to actually get myself straitened out.I'm losing my self to this light...a light that has nothing for me.I need to reconnect my self to the dark without losing my mind to the sanity.

I dunno what to do right now.It feels as if my mind and body are slipping.as if i am no longer there.I see worlds appear in my dreams.the begginings, the presents, and the futures.but what is true? I can't tell. I've been calming my mind thru many means.yet i can't satisy it. this feeling as if I haven't calmed the storm.

my feeling of recklessness,sadness,and anger.seem to manifest another presence...A soul that wishes for nothing but the end of all.as I write this I lose the sound of my insanity.I become...generic.I need to break these chains that bind my soul in such a way.

I guess if any of you read this...maybe I can get pushed back in the right direction.

-Paradox-
I am that which I am not.there fore I  exist to not exist...a dream but reality...


that is what i feel...

[Kira]

 
Oh my that sounds quite chaotic indeed.
 
Well, if you can't bring order to it all it's maybe because it cannot be oredered, just like you cannot put wind or lightning into a form.
Instead, why don't you try putting it in some sort of stream. Chaos that follows certain paths, like a song. Maybe somethink like this one:
[urlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB5In73K-Ko]Sea of Rage[/url]
Something that has a certain order to it although it changes constantly and becomes different all the time.
Try to stand in the middle of it. Don't try to order it. Let it blow around you like a tornado with yourself in the eye.
 
We're foxes. We don't control our emotions, we harness their energy. Like a ship catches the wind in its sails.

[tsukos]

Makes me think of the relationship between wind and earth. No matter how hard the winds blow, the mountains won't move any faster ^^;

There's a connection here somewhere... If you don't want to lose yourself to chaos, find a mountain to grab onto ^^; Put it all out of mind and get back to what you know for certain; the world is here, the ground isn't about to leave, and thus there must be other things with similar permanence. Maybe you're one of them, maybe you're not, either way you're likely to get swept away unless you anchor yourself before trying to make sense of chaos.

Dunno how much help that is... I'm a simple fox

[Shinka]

of course...that's why I love Kitsuhana...though I lurk here...there are always answers.seems like a much better idea...the funny part is i thought this post was deleted till a couple of minutes ago when I noticed it was moved...XD.there are great foxes here.no matter where else I may look,this is my home, Kitsuhana... there are always those closest to my heart,though our distance is far,are always close in spirit.

I had another thing happen to me. Another voice.I think it may have been my own.It repeated the same phrase followed by a question.  "I want to know...""who are you?","what are you?","what is your purpose?".The thing I thought all day is that there where many questions.that all came from one root. "I want to know".when I thought about it,I realized,that's just another part of who we are.We seek knowledge.we seek each other.we seek ourselves.

Who am I?...  I am Shinka of the kitsune.I seek knowledge. for what purpose?  To gain insight on what the answer might be.  there is no single solitary answer for one person. some live to define what there purpose is.others live to live. I think it's not clear and there is no single point.it all depends on where you stand at any point in your life that such a meaning changes...i could be wrong. I say so because,again, there is no single answer.

-Paradox-

I am aware of thing because i am unaware of them.thus they are here because they are not.


such paradoxes make little since but that is the point of them.

[tsukos]

Questions, questions. Is life nothing but questions? Far be it from me to tell you they aren't worth pursuing, but I have a kind of security in the fact that I don't know for certain. I've looked, and been confused. I have pieces, and I deal with them, but they don't always make sense. But I find I'm okay with that. Part of constantly asking questions and being so curious is to often have your efforts frustrated. I've run into so many of these 'wall moments' throughout my life that I can simply shrug and leave them alone until they somehow make sense. There's no sense trying to put together a puzzle if you don't have at least most of the pieces, right? 

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