Wandering on by...

I've been lurking here for the past two days. I figured by now I might say hi and give a short look into how I ended up here.

I've always been a late bloomer. At 25 years old, I was certain to my core I was different, but then again who isn't? It was something I just accepted. A few months ago, someone very close to me "came out" to me about being Otherkin. To be honest, I had no idea what that was. I am an self-labeled information monger, so I dove head-first into reading all I could on the phenomenon from everywhere. After exhausting myself on what I found (to be sure, the internet is full of information, but I was rather surprised to find how much on this topic seemed to be cross-posted, reposted and offered in triplicate) I sat back and thought about myself - "Am I really that different?" "These are other people's experiences." "What makes you so special?" and the always 'fun' to think about "You're just looking for a way to explain your experiences in a way that makes you unique."

And so I went about things as usual. I have a toddler to worry about, life in general to get on with. I put it on the back burner to simmer. Little did I know that life as usual had such twists. About a week ago I had a very strange and realistic dream of tall (or so it seemed) grass along the edge of the forest and... perhaps that is a post for another time. At any rate, it drew my attention back to all the "Who am I, really?" line of thinking.

Over the next few nights I worked on a meditation I had actually tried numerous times in a few different points in my life. It never got very far, really, until after that dream. It often lead to simply listening to the echo of my own voice asking "Who am I?" Finally, that night, she stepped out of the shadows, albeit cloaked, and spoke with me. A few nights later, with the help of a bit of energy work to keep my preconceptions in check and to ask that the "block" I've experienced for so many years finally move aside, I was able to look upon and truly talk with someone who has been with me for as far as I can remember. She's been enigmatically both a part of me and something seperate. And... I believe she is a kitsune. At first glance, she was a comely woman with long dark hair, but her aura, shining in a teal color, showed a (to my opinion) foxly face and a bushy pair of tails behind her.

I dove back into it again and although it is hard to imagine, I had a hard time finding much in the way of personal experiences of kitsune. I stumbled upon a blog that mentioned these forums and... well, I've been lurking since. I've found some of what I've read here enlightening, some of it frightening and still other topics intriguing. I thought I'd stick my toe into the water to see how it felt to post here.