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[Seeker]

I've been around this block a few times, and I think it's time to part with it on a more permanent basis. I've a few of my posts to collect and save, a few more replies to leave, but I'm saying goodbye to KH.

Aside from the recent drama, which although my role was small, I still feel I could've helped avoid, This place has provided me with a constant source of insight. I'm in one of my little "states", and I feel myself wanting to write, so I have decided to leave you with my thoughts on my journey's conclusion. I apologize in advance for the giant wall of text you will likely face as a result.

Alot of you have expressed sentiments in this thread, both about the nature of the beliefs of this site's patrons, both postive and negative. In general, I feel a distancing from our current perceptions of what it means to be "other", or whether it's even possible.

I've come to a similar line of thought. While I was open to the idea of being an actual kitsune at one point, it was really just something for my mind to chew on while I found myself a bit more. I knew that, and once I had absorbed the lessons it held, I pushed it aside. The fox was just an idealized representation of myself, a cunning, romantic character with a tendency to hover at the fringe of what's real and what isn't, of society and solitude, of altruism and apathy. A "True  Neutral", neither good nor evil, unconstrained by the whims of others. Now that I've taken that metaphor to heart, I can use it to strive to accomplish those goals, to be my own person. I still have an affinity for foxes, but it's more their aesthetics and behavior that make them interesting to me, rather than anything spiritual.

I suppose I can only truly be "human", however, I still question what that means. Is it the destiny of humans to be the way we are? I've heard phrases like; "It's human nature", or "we're only human", used to justify things like war, and greed, and hatred. To justify the way we extract our pleasure from other's pain, and sit complacent in the face of evil. Exploiting our planet like there's no tomorrow, arrogantly acting like we're better or different than the animals we subjugate, because we perceive our emotions or intellect to be keener than theirs. We reject our instinct, the call of our wild nature, and confine ourselves within steel cages only slightly more comfortable than those of our pets, simply to remove ourselves from the draw of the earth. The greater part of our race that is considered to be the "richest", have never ONCE in their lives slept outside in the moonlight, or seen the stars outside the blinding pox of cityglow. we cover our bodies in shame(shame!) of our physical form. We do not manage our prey and take only what we need, rather, we hunt them until there are none left, while the majority goes to spoil. We do not protect the continuation of our species by birthing more children than we can support, and then preventing those children from learning how to breed responsibly(in the name of "God", no less), by failing to prevent the invalid from breeding, and by keeping alive those who can only hope for the most trivial of existences. We cast aside most of our senses, relying on our sight alone most of the time. There's just so much we've lost as a species.

If this is what it means to be human, then I guess I'm not human. I can't live like that. I won't. I refuse to be that way! It's WRONG, and the bullshit sense of normalcy "civilized" humans attach to it cannot change the truth.

But the question remains in my mind, and the one that I think some of you are also dealing with is, If I'm not "human" in that sense, what am I? Surely there must be some label I can apply to myself, a label that I can wear as a badge, maybe bring others under, maybe exclude others from? It is a DANGEROUS path, one that without careful consideration could lead to madness.

You may label this path that of "Kitsune" because of the kinship you feel to the spirit-fox, and it's as good as any name if that's what you feel. But remember being different does not sever your connection to fate, that even as something other than human you are still responsible for this world and what happens in it. Maybe MORE so.

I would hope you all remember that regardless of what you are, YOU MATTER.

[BlackFox]

I've come to a similar line of thought. While I was open to the idea of being an actual kitsune at one point, it was really just something for my mind to chew on while I found myself a bit more. I knew that, and once I had absorbed the lessons it held, I pushed it aside. The fox was just an idealized representation of myself, a cunning, romantic character with a tendency to hover at the fringe of what's real and what isn't, of society and solitude, of altruism and apathy. A "True  Neutral", neither good nor evil, unconstrained by the whims of others. Now that I've taken that metaphor to heart, I can use it to strive to accomplish those goals, to be my own person. I still have an affinity for foxes, but it's more their aesthetics and behavior that make them interesting to me, rather than anything spiritual.

Quoted for emphasis.

Let me say that you will be truly missed. That I know exactly that that feels like and that has happened to me, at least as how it relates to me.

I know a lot has happened to us as individuals since the site's "hiatus".  I know that some of you out there have been thinking a lot, and I sincerely hope you will consider what he has said.

I may be making a similar post, due to my own thoughts and convictions. Not having a place to hash out thoughts like these with people here leaves me to only think on my own. Even though I do consider myself a great thinker (in quality, not in any sense of superiority, mind you.) but it does get lonely.

My own Wall of Text follows, my kudos if you get through it.

My own personal thoughts on what I have come to understand this "Kitsune Phenomenon". Is that every single one of us is inextricably and undeniably human... and not just "part-human" or "half-human" but fully and completely human.

To deny that fact is to deny all logic and reasonable thinking.

I've thought a LOT about these "Kitsune", and have come to a conclusion.

That they are nothing more than what could be described as a part of the epitome of "Human Individualism". That these people who consider themselves "outside" of humanity, though human, don't think like a lot of people do. They think in a manner that does not necessarily conform to the typical thinking of humans. I'll give you a short but rather personal example.

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For the longest time in my life I could have sworn I was an alien. I did not value "status", money had no meaning to me, emotions and empathy were alien things. I valued Logic over Love. I found that people were fundamentally weird.
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Through a lot of time and thinking (which is just my way) I grew out of it. Though a lot of those qualities did stay with me, through much thought and time I have become a much more rounded person, loving, compassionate and understanding. I can understand why people are so weird to me.

But what I found is that having that kind of past allows one to really look outside of the box, to look at this existence with alien eyes. I believe I have found a subset of people like a lot of you who are in a sense special. I think that's what led me here the sense that I was among my own kind.

The odd thing with me is that being exposed to the type of spiritualism explored on this site has really opened my eyes to spiritual things that I haven't really been aware of.

This increased my awareness of my spiritual beliefs that I hold dear and firmly believe in to be truth for as long as I have been alive. As a result my beliefs have been strengthened, but the spiritualism presented here was simply rejected. It was incompatible with my core beliefs.

As a result of this it also allowed my to take a "Second Look" at what was going on here.

This site has the potential to be a tool for good, and it also has the potential to be the site that can reinforce illusions.  Everyone here must take a good look at themselves and really ask "What is A Kitsune?" and really dig deep. I think you'll find that it has different personal meanings.

For me, my "Kitsune" part is the part of me the defies social logic, that spits in the face of "group think", where status has no meaning and it does not understand hate. It is the part of me that looks at humanity with alien eyes. That thinks of things not often thought about, to find answers that may lie underneath.

So now I can say as I am, "I know what I am, I know who I am, soon, I will know why I am".

And that's what I think it means to be Human.

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