I've been lurking around this community for a long time, and I finally feel this is the right time to come out of the den, so to speak. (Interesting that there are a lot of introductions here, since this is the time of year when foxes become adults and start searching for mates and territory.) I feel like I've written this introduction so many times, I've sat on it for months. I was going to post this gigantic wall-o-text going into my life story, because I feel that is pretty crucial to understanding why I feel the way I do about myself. But, it seemed like it was going beyond the bounds of an introduction, so I'll save that one for another time on another board.
Anyway, you can call me Gingitsune, and while I'm very much interested in kitsune, huli jing, and other East Asian fox spirits in a scholarly way, I also feel very personally connected to them, kitsune in particular. I see it as a spiritual connection, and it's come from many years of soul searching, much of which I'm still doing! XD I'm not ruling out the totem possibility, and that's how I often describe it to people if I ever do. However, I feel like this is more deep within, and not an outside source.
For me my spiritual leanings towards kitsune is the combination of two threads throughout my life. One of them is that I've felt some sort of spiritual connection with foxes my whole life, beginning since around 4 or 5 years old. To make it really short, I've felt very foxy in my soul since I was a young one and this has stayed with me during my life, even during my teenage years when I wanted to be more "normal" (although I stuffed it down during this time, but it came back) and even during my adult life as I've grown very comfortable with my humanity. I'm quite happy as a human, nor do I see myself as having any supernatural powers, yet when I live my life more like that of a fox (such as being more introverted, work more nocturnally, etc) I feel more comfortable with who I am.
Then the other thread is the connection to Asian cultures as well, particularly Japanese culture. Again, to make it short, as a kid I had an attraction to Asian stuff, long before I knew what anime was, and I already had this concept in my head of foxes as somehow being divine or part of my spirituality. Then later in life when I found out about Japan and Inari, it all just suddenly clicked for me and made me realize that I'm not crazy, it exists! I have since built up a small shrine with Inari foxes that serves well for my simple spirituality.
I've come here because I have been doing a lot of deep thinking about who I am and where I want to be lately. I'm applying for graduate studies and have been working on a personal statement, which has been the catalyst for a lot of soul searching. I'm passionate about linguistics, and this somehow brings to my mind the folklore of women who were illiterate that were possessed by fox spirits and could suddenly read. There's something very kitsune about linguistics to me! Many foxes in Japan and China were associated with scholars and/or priests, and while it was mostly to make fun of them or tempt them, there seems to be a few that were actually quite scholarly. In fact, as I'm finding that phonology has become a field I'm interested in, I suddenly stumbled across this bit of history/folklore:
http://wolfberrystudio.blogspot.com/2011/11/fox-phonologist.htmlLet's just say that this left me pretty stunned, and has been a huge source of thought for me lately. (Yeah, I know, he was only CALLED a nine-tailed-fox, but it could be something deeper, who knows...)
Anyway, sorry for some of the vagueness, it's just that I've been thinking about a TON of stuff and I don't want to dump it all at once. (Yet it's STILL a wall-o-text! XD) I've been pretty busy lately, so I may take a while to get around to some of these things I've been thinking about. But, I'm glad I've found this community! I've been hanging around therian communities for a couple years and they work for me, but it's so nice to be able to discuss things with others that are more on the kitsune side. Pleased to meet you!
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